The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Girl
Girl: “You wanted to ask me something?”
Excited Southerner: “Yes, I did. I -
first of all I just wanted to say that you’re -
- very pretty girl, and I, I –
hoo — you’the — we’ve known each other for so long now,
and-uh, it’s about time that the two of us –
we’re both getting older right now, and-uh,
and I don’t want to die alone, I — tell you that much –
hoo — getting ahead of myself — got ta slow down, hoo-hoo,
concentrate on what I’m trying to get across to you right now, hoo,
I mean, whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-willing
to be a house husband, you don’t have to qu-qu-qu-qu-quit your
job there, there, I’m, I’m, the-, I’m, I’m –
hoo, honeymoon in the Poconos, with the — hoo, woo hoo
– sex optional — you don’t have to do what you don’t want to do,
hoo hoo hoo hoo, someday you’re going to love me, and that –
that’s fi– til death do us part I, we’ll get the chocolate cake
and the sunrise and the sunset — no prenuptial agree –”
Girl: “Look, are you trying to ask me to marry you?
Because I’m just not ready for that kind of commitment.”
Excited Southerner: “Coooooo.”
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