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They’re coming…at the rate of 300 miles a year… They started in Brazil, And came north through Nicaragua We call them killer bees The Sandinistas call them their “freedom fighters” An evil empire of Godless, Marxist bugs How can they be stopped?! The Bees The killer bees are coming Spreading fear and terror in our [...]
My parents married here in Reno Then I was born, and it seemed downhill from there We never had our share of luck, and it wasn’t fair Ooooo But then, a week ago last Thursday I drove for hours and I never hit one red light I ate a day-old tuna sandwich and felt alright [...]
Hippie Again First I was a hippie Then I was a stockbroker Now I am a hippie again In the Summer of Love I was mellow and high I had my bus and my dog and everything I needed to get by But the years rolled on and I settled down I parked my bus [...]
The next thing I knew, there was a pain in my head like my sinuses were cracking. The Santa Ana winds had come back, and the whole city of L.A. was acting like it had PMS. I heard high heels on the linoleum floor of the outer office. She came in wearing a pair of [...]
Have you seen my woman walkin’? With a basket on her head She looks so strong and healthy Lord, she’s not underfed Pounded Pounded on a Rock She’s goin’ down to the river Gonna dump that laundry in Gonna take those soiled and dirty things And make ‘em white again Pounded Pounded on a Rock [...]
Dictator in a polo shirt Dictator in a polo shirt A backwards society A non-aligned nation can’t afford to buy starch No chance for dignity in our laundry When colonial powers were in charge We send all the mufti to the riverbank Pound it on a rock until it all come white Then run it [...]
I’ve got a happy marriage I get along well with Ray He drives an eighteen-wheeler From here to Santa Fe (He can be gone such a long time…) I’ve made discreet arrangements To pass the lonely hours When Ray’s away on business I’m not just pickin’ flowers Ohhh– Signs on the line Ohhh– Signs on [...]
Down at the grocery store They got those things I like to eat Oh, yeah Down at the grocery store I got enough for a box of Cream of Wheat Oh, yeah Don’t you know I’d rather have a pound or two of prime red meat Down at the grocery store Countin’ out my pennies [...]
Him: Pardon me I couldn’t help but see That you only have a small amount of laundry I don’t have much You don’t have much Why don’t we both share a load? Her: No, but thanks I’ve got too many colors And I wouldn’t want your underwear to turn all pink But it seems I’ve [...]
When the hearings started it seemed like an intrusion My wife couldn’t stand missing “One Life to Live” The kids came home from school and asked “Dad, what’s collusion?” It was sad cause I had no answer to give We started watching the hearings together I’d stay home from work in the afternoons It started [...]
Didn’t you ever wonder how you always make a blunder When you’re countin’ all your socks into the washing machine? And when the dryer finishes dryin’ And you’re cryin’ cause you got a bunch of old maid socks– It’s a bad scene Where does the wayward footwear go? To the bottom of the ocean? Or [...]
I got a bunch of bananas and a bottle of bleach Five cans of cat food, a chicken, and a peach I had enough trouble picking out all this food I can’t stand decisions, I think it’s so rude That you ask me if I want Plastic or Paper I don’t know…just a bag! PLASTIC [...]
We both liked corn dogs at the start We once shared pastries from the cart I know that low cholesterol is good for my heart But these fights over what to eat are tearin’ us apart When we were young we shared a common tongue We ate and ate and ate and ate and never [...]
Boy around the corner Very shy He never says hello But he’s the guy I wanna be with Boy is kind of funny Doesn’t speak His legs are skinny Not a good physique And yet I love him Boy around the corner Better than the boy next door The boy around the corner’s Never been [...]