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J.N.:] “I can make a bigger splash than you!” [Jimmy:] “Oh yeah, give it a shot.” [While jumping up and down on diving board] [J.N.:] “Can opener!” [Big splash] [Jimmy:] “Man, that one was huge.” [J.N.:] “You go.” [While running towards pool] [Jimmy:] “Ahhhh, jacknife!” [Jumps in and small splash] [Tracy:] “That was a dud, [...]
Jabawokee ding dong Slip slap slee Dipstick paddywhack Pee pee googalee gee Polly wolly sling slang Skooey dibbely doo Wing wong ping pong King Kong Cheech ‘n Chong Hop hip kagagoogoo Hickory dickory slickory flip flap Dip skip to my Lou Flim flam wham blam Sam bam Cunningham Whack snack koochie koochie koo Plus you [...]
M1:] “Hey, it’s great to have us all out on a road trip again this is gonna be fun” [all agree] [M2:] “Whoa,do you smell that skunk” [All:] “Yeah [M2:] “You know, even though it stinks it kinda reminds me of growing up” [all agree] [M3:] “It kinda reminds me of smelling weed” [all agree] [...]
Girl: “You wanted to ask me something?” Excited Southerner: “Yes, I did. I – first of all I just wanted to say that you’re – - very pretty girl, and I, I – hoo — you’the — we’ve known each other for so long now, and-uh, it’s about time that the two of us – [...]
Put on your yamukah Here comes Hannukah So much funnukah To celebrate Hannukah Hannukah is: the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents We have eight crazy nights When you feel like the only kid in town Without a Christmas tree Here’s a list of people who are Jewish Just like you and [...]
I am a simple goat I live on the back of a pick-up truck The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope Am I happy he don’t give a fuck He’s filled with anger, and filled with rage And tells me I smell like piss His drink, Jimmy Bean His chaser, a bear [...]
Adam Talking “Okay… This is a song that uhh.. There’s a lot of Christmas songs out there and uhh.. not too many Chanukah songs. So uhh.. I wrote a song for all those nice little Jewish kids who don’t get to hear any Chanukah songs. Here we go…” Put on your yarmulke Here comes Chanukah [...]
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And now a cow at bat in the bottom of the 6th inning of a little league game getting hit by a pitch” [Baseball sounds and cow bell ringing,ball is hit and hits cow] [Cow:] Moo “And now a cow who goes skydiving for the very first time, and thinks his parachute isn’t gonna open [...]
I’m sitting in my chair watching the TV It’s not even on but there’s plenty for me to see I just lit some crazy ass shit that my friend overnight mailed to me I’m fucking wasted It’s the best shit I ever tasted I think they fucking laced it Cause I’m so damn lambasted Oh [...]
Setting: A restaurant with music playing in the background] “And now the Excited Southerner proposes to a girl.” Girl: “You wanted to ask me something?” Excited Southerner: “Yes, I did. I – first of all I just wanted to say that you’re — very pretty girl, and I, I — hoo — you’the — we’ve [...]
Okay… This is a song that uhh.. There’s a lot of Christmas songs out there and uhh.. not too many Chanukah songs. So uhh.. I wrote a song for all those nice little Jewish kids who don’t get to hear any Chanukah songs. Here we go…” Put on your yarmulke Here comes Chanukah So much [...]
J.N.: “I can make a bigger splash than you!” Jimmy: “Oh yeah, give it a shot.” [While jumping up and down on diving board] J.N.: “Can opener!” [Big splash] Jimmy: “Man, that one was huge.” J.N.: “You go.” [While running towards pool] Jimmy: “Ahhhh, jacknife!” [Jumps in and small splash] Tracy: “That was a dud, [...]
Adam:] You don’t mind that I think everybody’s a robot and all my conversations are being recorded [Lisa:] And you don’t mind that all of my pants are way too short on me and I also stabbed someone with a pair of scissors a long time ago (ha-ha-ha) [Adam:] And you don’t care that I [...]
I’m a big fuckin’ dick I’m a pain in your ass I drink all your beer I’ll eat the last slice I’ll give you charley horses I’ll pull your shorts down at the beach I always need a ride Nobody likes me My name’s Steve Motherfucking Polychronopolous I spit when I talk I swear in [...]
Here we go! Piece of shit car I got a piece of shit car That fuckin pile’ of shit Never gets me very far My cars a big piece of shit ‘Cause the shocks are fuckin shot And my seatbelts fuckin broken I got to tie it in a knot (its a piece of shit) [...]
Put on your yarmulke Here comes Chanukah So much funukah To celebrate Chanukah Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights When you feel like the only kid in twon without a Christmas tree Here’s a list of people who are Jewish just like you and [...]
I used to ride a big wheel. And sell lemonade. Eat popcorn with Grandpa while we watched a parade. But now I’m only happy when I’m drinkin’ J.D. What the hell happened to me? I used to have fun throwing snowballs. With my best friend Billy. Then Mom would make us cocoa if we got [...]
typing sounds] Dr. Stewart: Hi, [I'm] Dr. Stewart. Gary Phelps: Hi, Dr. Stewart. Nice to meet you — I’m Gary Phelps. Dr. Stewart: My pleasure. Gary, have you ever been hypnotized before? Gary Phelps: No, I haven’t. I’m actually quite nervous, but I just, uh, I — Dr. Stewart: All right, and you were referred [...]